pepsimansthickjuicymeatyschlong:
ribbed for HIS pleasure
(via zimiestef)
pepsimansthickjuicymeatyschlong:
ribbed for HIS pleasure
(via zimiestef)
“we live in an uncaring universe”
false. i care very deeply. am i not a part of this infinite universe?
(via zimiestef)
Bitches be like ‘I’m so tired and sleepy’ and then stay up doing hyperfixtation shit for the next 5 hours
…
(via canibecandid)
You drank a snake oil salesman’s drink only for it to make you actually immortal in the old west now 300 years later you see that same salesman
we silently hi-five without making eye contact and keep it moving
no wait gay sex
(via knightposting)
c-53:
Another fun thing I do with customers - specifically parents of very small children who don’t know they’re alive yet - is directly imply I think the coffee is for the baby, not the parent. and lemme tell you, like 70% of parents eat that shit up. They immediately go along with the bit and start discussing it with their newborn child, while the baby just stares at us like 😮
THIS IS SO OVER THE TOP HELLO??? WHO ARE YOU???
...
on perfectionism
There’s a difference between striving for self-improvement and being a perfectionist....
i thought my laptop was on its last leg because it was running at six billion degrees and using 100% disk space at all...
i can never face...